


Made Higher and Holier

by amy1om



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Rape Aftermath
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-30
Updated: 2013-10-30
Packaged: 2017-12-30 22:39:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1024230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amy1om/pseuds/amy1om
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened the night Anna returned to the cottage? Major spoilers for Season 4!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Made Higher and Holier

**Author's Note:**

> I began writing this before I saw Episode 6 and although this lines up a little with that episode things do diverge. I would like to think this might've happened if they'd went in that direction.
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing a full blow Downton Abbey fic so please try to be kind if something is off!

On the first night after Anna's return to the cottage from the main house, John had wanted to talk awhile but she had been far too exhausted, and so they had gone straight to bed. Anna had fallen asleep almost from the moment her head hit the pillow and for awhile he had stayed awake, watching her sleep and thanking God she was by his side once more.

 

It hurt and angered him that his beautiful Anna believed herself to be spoiled and no longer worthy of him or being loved by him. If anyone was unworthy, John knew it was him. He was the one who was spoiled because he hadn't been there to stop Green from brutally violating his wife, and he had been the one to fail her. Yes, he had failed her because he had seen how Lord Gillingham's valet was looking at Anna.

 

He had known what he had seen in the other man's eyes was lust but even knowing what he saw, yet he had still elected to stay at a bloody concert he really didn't care about and let Anna go alone to a part of the house that he knew was empty. But the reason why he had stayed instead of going with her was the part that shamed John Bates the most, and it was shame he'd carry with him the rest of is life. He had stayed not because Anna insisted that he do so, but because he had found that he was still a little irritated with her for her behavior from earlier that evening.

 

It was about an hour after he had finally fallen into a restless sleep that John was awakened by his wife crying and calling his name out in her sleep.


End file.
